I fucked up, didn’t I? Lol, I guess I deserve this. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same about me, if you pitied me and saw how pathetic I could get, if you couldn’t care about me anymore. I deserve it. And I’m fine if you stepped on me, and if everyone else did. I belong in the ground in the first place.

I’m not a stranger to this feeling. It’s been eight years since we moved away. The Philippines has always been home, always first to come up in my head when anyone mention’s family. I just wish I could talk to anyone about it. It’s a lonely and isolated feeling, and it makes me really sad. My dad doesn’t care, and my mom’s too busy— my cousins are so far away, and everyone’s just fine of how things are now. I want to talk about this strange familiar feeling of needing to be with family. With anyone. I really miss them and each day I’m forgetting them more and more. I feel so distant from my cousins now, I feel so left out. I want the old days to come back. Haha. I guess these photos and my bad memory would have to do.

I love looking at my six year old brother more than anything. There’s so much life and happiness in his eyes and it’s amazing how preserved his innocence is. He’s so whole… and happy.  I think I could kill anything that would kill the life in his eyes. Heh, it’s an amazing thing to be blessed with wonderful person like him. I’m a happy sister.